Episode 31: All About Boundaries with Jules Taylor Shore

We hear a lot about "having boundaries" or "setting boundaries" or "respecting boundaries"... but what does any of this really mean?

To answer this question, I invited trauma therapist and boundaries expert, Jules Taylor Shore, to talk all about boundaries. Jules takes this complex topic and explains it in a user-friendly way, so we can better understand ourselves and others.

Episode 30: Like a Tornado of Sticks & Poo

Love addiction gets messy. It's full of intensity, shame, and regression that leads us to behave regretfully, or as I say, 'like a tornado of sticks and poo'.

In this episode, I celebrate six years in recovery by revisiting Pia Mellody's symptoms of love addiction; and by providing examples of how these symptoms looked for me during nearly three decades of addicted relationships.

Episode 29: The Science of Stuck with Britt Frank

What does it mean to 'feel stuck'? And, what exactly IS a feeling, anyway?

In this episode, I talk with Britt Frank, therapist and author of "The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward”, about the definition of stuck; the difference between feelings, emotions, and thoughts; fantasy and fairy tales. Britt also shares her experience with addiction and recovery, as well as her thoughts on what keeps us stuck in our love addiction.

Episode 28: Third Degree Mother Hunger with Jennifer Acker

If you listen to the podcast you've likely heard me talk about Mother Hunger and the role it plays in love addiction. But there's an extreme form of this attachment injury: Third Degree Mother Hunger- which happens when a daughter grows up frightened of her mother.

For this episode, I invited fellow Mother Hunger facilitator and therapist, Jennifer Acker, to share her personal Third Degree Mother Hunger story.

Episode 27: All About Betrayal Trauma with Michelle Mays

We might think we know the meaning of the term "betrayal", but what actually happens when we're truly betrayed by the person closest to us?

In this episode, I talk with therapist and betrayal trauma expert, Michelle Mays, about the complexity of this relational trauma, as well as recovery resources. I also discuss my new awareness of the role that betrayal played in my love addiction.

Episode 26: A Recovery Story with Kelly Henderson of Velvet's Edge

We all have a story to tell, and when it comes to love addiction our stories are as unique as they are similar. It's as if love addiction comes with a script and how it plays out depends upon who's directing.

In this episode, I’m joined by Kelly Henderson from the podcast, Velvet's Edge, to share her personal experience with love addiction and recovery- and we realize our stories are very similar.

Episode 25: An Interview with Buck Dodson of Gay Men's Life Lab

Love addiction and codependence come with patterns of dysfunction, as we unconsciously try to resolve (and act-out) the past through our current relationships.

In this episode, I talk with therapist and coach, Buck Dodson, regarding his personal experience with codependence and dysfunctional relationships, as well as his professional experience working with gay men's issues. Buck is also the host of his podcast Gay Men's Life Lab.

Episode 24: Functional Adulting with Daniel Gowan

There's lots of talk about adulting and being a 'mature adult', but what does all of that even mean? Are we adults because we have responsibilities, or we're parents, or (we think) we behave maturely?

In this episode, I invite Daniel Gowan back to discuss Pia Mellody's concept of the Functional Adult. We also cover Pia's five core symptoms of codependence (aka the five 'buckets'), reparenting, and how to live in action vs. reaction.

Episode 23: The Power of What-if

Have you ever looked back on a past relationship and wondered "What if?: what if things had worked out differently, or I'd been more this/that, or the timing had been better?"

For those of us with a history of love addiction, those 'what-ifs' can lead us into fantasy and obsession (and sometimes right back into a dysfunctional relationship). But not all relationships end badly...so why not try again? In this episode, Brooke is back to share another dating experience--one that started with a 'what-if' and led to a lot of useful information.

Episode 22: Enoughing

What is 'enough'? If you've struggled with codependence or love addiction, you might catch yourself feeling 'not enough'; or maybe you're driven to DO more (and more) but it never feels like enough.

In this episode, I talk about how the pandemic has shifted our concept of what it means to do and be enough and the role that 'enough' played in my love addiction. I also talk about what's to come this year on the podcast!

Episode 21: Talking Therapy & Trauma with Tyndal Schreiner

Mental health is an important topic, and thanks to social media its become a more widely discussed topic than in previous years. But while these platforms can provide lots of information, there's also misinformation--especially when it comes to how we talk about trauma and 'healing'.

In this episode, I talk with Tyndal Schreiner, a fellow Texas therapist, about being a therapist on Instagram and the importance of professional boundaries. We also discuss the process of becoming a therapist and a few valuable lessons they learned along the way.

Episode 20: An Interview with Guru Singh

What does 'home' mean to you? Is it a sense of safety? Belonging? Connection?

In this episode, I talk with my teacher, Guru Singh, about our first meeting 24 years ago, and how it helped me create a new perspective of what home is and changed the trajectory of my life. We also cover relationships, addiction, spirituality, boredom, and much more in one epic hour of conversation.

Episode 19: An Interview with Chris Marshall of Sans Bar

Sobriety is wonderful, but like lots of things in life, it's not always a pocketful of rainbows. And with nearly 15 years of sobriety, Chris Marshall, founder of Sans Bar in Austin, really gets this.

In this episode, Chris and I talk about embracing uncertainty in recovery, the importance of accepting that there are different paths to sobriety versus a one-size-fits-all approach, that it's okay to reconsider labels that may no longer serve you and much more.

Episode 18: The Connection Between Trauma & How We Work with Nicole Lewis-Keeber

Do you love your work? And, equally, as important, does it love you back? This is a question that business therapist Nicole Lewis-Keeber asks readers in her book, "How to Love Your Business: Stop Recreating Trauma and Have a Business You Love- And That Loves You Back".

In this episode, I talk with Nicole about a time when she considered closing her business, but instead- thanks to an early morning aha moment- she rebuilt it. This pivotal moment ultimately led Nicole to a loving relationship with her work, as well as writing a book about how our history with trauma can sabotage us in business and what we can do about it.

Episode 17: Brooke- A Breakup Story (Part Two)

Sometimes a breakup is The End, but sometimes we go back and try it again- especially when we're talking about love addiction and codependency. As Jerry Seinfeld said, "Everybody knows the first breakup never takes".

In this episode, I follow up with my friend, Brooke, as we reconnect regarding what's transpired since her breakup last year (covered in Episode 2). Listen as we discuss how Part Two of Brooke's breakup got started, why it ended, and how going back again with the right tools can actually provide a lot of useful information for our recovery.

Episode 16: Mother Hunger with Kelly McDaniel, Part Three

In the previous two episodes, author and therapist Kelly McDaniel has explained Mother Hunger, how it happens, and provided some well-known cases of Mother Hunger from her forthcoming book for reference.

In Part Three, we continue our conversation with the definition of Third-Degree Mother Hunger, as well as the steps involved in the healing process.

Episode 15: Mother Hunger with Kelly McDaniel, Part Two

Nurturance, guidance, and protection are three developmental needs for appropriate brain development in childhood; but what happens if any (or all) of these are inconsistently provided?

In this episode, I continue the Mother Hunger discussion with author and therapist, Kelly McDaniel. Listen as we talk about the importance of protection, how daughters look to their mothers for guidance, and how carried shame messes everything up.

Episode 14: Mother Hunger with Kelly McDaniel, Part One

Mothers are valuable: they're our first love and the source of everything we need to survive. But what happens when a mother doesn't get the support she needs, or is struggling with her own unresolved trauma?

In this episode (part one of a three-part series), I talk with Kelly McDaniel, author of "Ready to Heal”, about her upcoming book "Mother Hunger: How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance". The conversation includes a definition of Mother Hunger, how it happens, and how it can affect us.

Episode 13: Nothing Special

Why do we stay in co-addicted relationships, believing 'that one' person's validation is the key to our fulfillment? What drives us to pursue a fantasy, only to be disappointed when confronted by reality? In this episode, I talk about books, Zen meditation, the role of dopamine in love addiction, and how finding our own 'nothing special' is actually really awesome.

Episode 12: An Interview with Alex Katehakis

What is healthy sex? And intimate sex? And how about healthy sex in recovery? I have so many questions for my guest, Alex Katehakis, a sexuality expert and author of the book, Erotic Intelligence. In this episode, we discuss the four cornerstones of intimacy, how stress interferes with desire, sex as a spiritual practice, and so much more.