Episode 17: Brooke- A Breakup Story (Part Two)

Sometimes a breakup is The End, but sometimes we go back and try it again- especially when we're talking about love addiction and codependency. As Jerry Seinfeld said, "Everybody knows the first breakup never takes".

In this episode, I follow up with my friend, Brooke, as we reconnect regarding what's transpired since her breakup last year (covered in Episode 2). Listen as we discuss how Part Two of Brooke's breakup got started, why it ended, and how going back again with the right tools can actually provide a lot of useful information for our recovery.

Episode 16: Mother Hunger with Kelly McDaniel, Part Three

In the previous two episodes, author and therapist Kelly McDaniel has explained Mother Hunger, how it happens, and provided some well-known cases of Mother Hunger from her forthcoming book for reference.

In Part Three, we continue our conversation with the definition of Third-Degree Mother Hunger, as well as the steps involved in the healing process.

Episode 15: Mother Hunger with Kelly McDaniel, Part Two

Nurturance, guidance, and protection are three developmental needs for appropriate brain development in childhood; but what happens if any (or all) of these are inconsistently provided?

In this episode, I continue the Mother Hunger discussion with author and therapist, Kelly McDaniel. Listen as we talk about the importance of protection, how daughters look to their mothers for guidance, and how carried shame messes everything up.

Episode 14: Mother Hunger with Kelly McDaniel, Part One

Mothers are valuable: they're our first love and the source of everything we need to survive. But what happens when a mother doesn't get the support she needs, or is struggling with her own unresolved trauma?

In this episode (part one of a three-part series), I talk with Kelly McDaniel, author of "Ready to Heal”, about her upcoming book "Mother Hunger: How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance". The conversation includes a definition of Mother Hunger, how it happens, and how it can affect us.

Episode 13: Nothing Special

Why do we stay in co-addicted relationships, believing 'that one' person's validation is the key to our fulfillment? What drives us to pursue a fantasy, only to be disappointed when confronted by reality? In this episode, I talk about books, Zen meditation, the role of dopamine in love addiction, and how finding our own 'nothing special' is actually really awesome.

Episode 12: An Interview with Alex Katehakis

What is healthy sex? And intimate sex? And how about healthy sex in recovery? I have so many questions for my guest, Alex Katehakis, a sexuality expert and author of the book, Erotic Intelligence. In this episode, we discuss the four cornerstones of intimacy, how stress interferes with desire, sex as a spiritual practice, and so much more.

Episode 11: Best Girlfriend Ever

Love addiction is rooted in codependence; it comes with boundary issues, dependency issues, and self-esteem issues, which leads us to look externally (often to our partners) for a sense of worthiness.

In this episode, I discuss my history of trying to prove my value in relationships, and how that led to resentment and more dysfunctional behavior. I also discuss what happens when attachment wounds are triggered and what we can do in those painful moments.

Episode 10: An Interview with Daniel Gowan

What’s it like to grow up as The Hero of the family? Hint: It’s not as awesome as it sounds. In this episode, I talk with Rev. Daniel Gowan, LPC-S, regarding his upbringing as a Hero and his personal experience with love addiction, avoidance, and codependence. We also discuss his recovery journey, how this led him to Pia Mellody’s work, and how all of it has influenced him as a therapist.

Episode 9: Just So

Do you struggle with consistency? Does your desire to do All The Things - and do them perfectly - get in the way of actually DOING anything at all? In this episode, I explore the connection between codependence, love addiction, and the tendency to over-function; how shame feeds our dysfunctional behavior; and how sometimes, even when we think we’re just wasting time, we might actually be learning our most valuable lessons.

Episode 8: An Interview with Sarah Bridge: Part 2

What do seduction, fantasy, obsession, self-medicating, and withdrawal have in common? They're all parts of the cycle of love addiction.

In this episode, I continue my conversation with Sarah Bridge, LCSW. Listen as we discuss the love addiction cycle, as well as what happens in co-addicted relationships between Love Addicts and Love Avoidants.

Episode 7: An Interview with Sarah Bridge: Part 1

Fantasy is a big part of love addiction; it’s what keeps us hooked in our co-addicted relationships as we try to make a partner into who we want them to be instead of accepting the reality of who they are. In this episode, I discuss the role of fantasy in love addiction, how it “works”, and how it all begins in childhood as a way to escape.

What is codependence? Pia Mellody, the author of the book "Facing Codependence", says it's a disease of immaturity caused by childhood relational trauma... and it causes lots of issues in our adult relationships.

In this episode (part one of a two part series), I talk with Sarah Bridge, LCSW, about the core symptoms of codependence, assigned family roles and post-induction therapy. Sarah is a therapist in private practice who works closely with Pia Mellody and trains other therapists in Pia's model at The Meadows in Wickenburg, AZ.

Episode 6: A Prefab Fantasy

Fantasy is a big part of love addiction; it’s what keeps us hooked in our co-addicted relationships as we try to make a partner into who we want them to be instead of accepting the reality of who they are. In this episode I discuss the role of fantasy in love addiction, how it “works”, and how it all begins in childhood as a way to escape.

Episode 5: Playing it Sexy

When a relationship ends, Love Addicts can spend a lot of energy trying to put it back together. In this episode, I discuss how playing the 'sexy/cool girlfriend' never actually worked, and how hopeful hookups during on-again/off-again relationships kept me stuck in co-addicted cycles with partners. I also talk with Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, Dr. Stevie Stanford, regarding the differences and similarities between sex and love addiction, and why we're constantly trying to fill a void.

Episode 4: The Thing Is

Lots of people have a Thing - something that needs to be addressed in order to be the healthiest version of oneself; but sometimes that Thing is intertwined with another, much bigger Thing. In this episode, I talk about my experience with alcohol and how it was intertwined with my love addiction (AKA: The Big Thing) from a young age. My friend, Sondra Primeaux (The Unruffled Podcast), shares her history with her Things (codependence and alcohol) and how honesty, boundaries, and recovery have changed everything.

Episode 3: An Interview with Kelly McDaniel

What is love addiction? According to Kelly McDaniel, therapist and author of “Ready to Heal: Breaking Free of Addictive Relationships”, the answer is quite complex. In this episode, Kelly joins me to discuss the cultural programming that leads to love addiction; how sex and love get intertwined (and confused) at an early age; and how we can recover. Get a notebook and pen because this episode covers a lot of ground.

Episode 2: Brooke - A Breakup Story

Breakups are hard, but sometimes staying in the relationship is even harder. In this episode, my friend Brooke shares her experience with codependence and how it affected a recent longterm relationship (plus how and why that relationship ultimately ended).