Journals of a Love Addict
The Blog
The Cart of Dharma
In love addiction, we can spend lots of time in a special kind of self-doubt. Instead of feeling confident enough to make decisions for ourselves, we look for guidance out there--often from those we have on pedestals--while undervaluing our own worth and the validity of our inner compass.
Mötley Crüe and Peach Schnapps Made Me Do It
You see, I was 15 and grounded for three months because Mom caught me sneaking out of the house one night earlier that summer. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere, as in maybe never-ever-again; but I did anyway. This time I snuck out of the house in broad daylight, arranging for that boyfriend to pick me up at the bottom of a hill on the aforementioned country highway on which we lived. I thought I was so clever; telling Mom that I was Just gonna go say Hi to the neighbors across the road real quick - which I'd never done before because I hardly knew them - and thinking she wasn't onto me. But she was.
Suddenly, That Summer
I couldn't have known it at the time, but this was my first memorable shame attack and my earliest recollection of feeling that its not safe to be me...I should be more careful...I can't let my guard down when I'm out there in the world. In other words, I unconsciously absorbed responsibility for what happened and assumed it must have been my fault.